Infidelity and extramarital affairs are rife. TV shows come and go. Desperate Housewives being all the rage for a time. Oprah even raved about it, as many women swoon at the male stars. However now the men shake their heads in disbelief at the infidelity and other goings on. But.... Is it all a sign of the times. Remember Sex in the City? Women being more emancipated, have more freedom, and more resources than anytime in the past. So what does all that mean. Well for one thing, they are now more prepared to publically show their frustrations. They dont just accept that the man is out there doing his thing which does not always consist of just going out to work to bring in the bacon. Men having always had the freedom to roam, have taken this to the extreme. They have often left behind trailsof broken hearts and shattered families in their wake.Now though, women are starting to get on the bandwagon.Sexual emancipation is now no longer gender related. Both sexes are now equal. Infidelity is on the increase. Recent statistics suggest that up to 40% of women and at least 60% of men, have had outside relationship affairs at some time in their life. In studies performed recently, couple therapists however reported a 50% increase in female infidelity! The possiblity thus exists that someone close to is, was, or will be cheating on their partner!OK, so the women are fighting back but most men have no clue that their wives are having an affair. Most men find out the day their wife asks for a divorce.This is a life shattering experience, (trust me I know).Very few women become overnight cheaters though. The signs may have been there all along. There are usually stages of development, to the state of infidelity. Often, both partners contribute to these stages. Warning signs that not all is right, actually appear long before the actual physical act of infidelity. Usually most partners, dont spot them until its too late though.Why do they do it?Knowing the why, could be great help in protecting yourself from being at the wrong end of an adulterous relationship. Here are some reasons, which you may or may not understand. Just be aware that they can apply to men and women nowadays. Trophy hunters. Am I attractive, powerful, rich (insert your own attribute) ..enough to get that person to have sex with me?Lack of a truly intimate relationship. This may be either real or perceived. Some couples just dont have matching sex drives, leading to problems.Revenge. As silly as it sounds, this is a huge reason for infidelity. He or she did this to me, so I will get back at them by having an affair as well. Totally illogical in your mind, but not in theirs. Addictive behaviour, sexual tendencies, confusion or trauma. Low self esteem. Am I really good enough. If someone is willing to have sex with me, that proves that Im OKLack of love in the relationship. A feeling of not being cared for, lets the partner look for this missing feeling outside the relationship. This then often leads to sex. Boredom..etc.So what are the signs? Well if you are in a loveless relationship, you by probably already know that the potential for problems exist. There may of course be other signs as well. A sudden interest to work more overtime, is a red flag. Spending less time at home. Receiving phone calls at strange hours and then not sharing the callers identity, are all suspicious. Etc etc.Those are the obvious ones. Now you can play detective and look at everything with a suspicious mind. But who wants to live that way though? Intelligent and commited partners, stay tuned into the relationship. They are aware of the pulse of how both feel about each other. All too often, relationships are just left to drag on, and eventually dies,even though the partners are still physically present.Remember to get the passion back in your life, by not letting this happen to you. Love is something too precious to just ignore. |
